Selfishness is one of the main enemies of the stability of married life as it affects how the two partners talk, how to manage life and divide responsibilities, so that it may be an obstacle in resolving conflicts, which prevents the spouses from spending quality time together and their relationship may deteriorate just as it harms marital friendship.
Selfishness is a behavior intended solely for self-care; A selfish person may get what he wants, but in return he gives very little or nothing in return. In fact, it’s all about the partner’s personality and character, and selfishness is a common behavior and every one of us has a natural tendency to be selfish, especially in our individual society to a large extent. It is supposed to instill in the child other values such as self-denial, humility and generosity. And there are adults who cherish being selfish and do not seek to change that, if you are one of these people, you should know that selfishness is a sign of immaturity because it hinders bonding and good relationships. The selfish person creates a threatening marital relationship as well as a marriage partner who suffers from discomfort or stability because their partner always thinks that the world revolves around them. Before marriage, all the decisions that each individual deals with are only about himself such as: what I want; where I go; What did you do; what did you wear; The focus is entirely on you. But once you get married, the story changes and it turns and it’s no longer “I” but “we”, because in marriage one of the important and essential elements is compromise, and marriage changes our outlook and what our values should be. Are there signs of selfishness? Of course yes, selfishness is the most common trait that has signs and character through which a person is known, such as: • Having difficulty giving up. • The selfish person’s belief that life revolves around him and that he is the focus of attention. You have to be your way. • The unwillingness of the selfish person to share his things with others. • That the person has difficulty in forgiving or giving up. • Competition between spouses in the relationship and this is a mistake because marriage is cooperation and not competition. • Self-care only. • Not feeling happy about the progress or joy of others. How does selfishness affect the marital relationship? ❖ It creates a state of not listening Naturally, we don’t have to agree on everything, but deciding whether we have different opinions is more than just not thinking the same way, it means listening to the other person and being willing to compromise and that’s what selfishness prevents from happening.
❖ Lack of respect and appreciation for the partner’s opinions It’s easy for a selfish person to focus on what they want or always think they deserve more from their partner – whether that’s a desire for more frequent physical intimacy or something else in the marital relationship.
❖ Difficulty communicating with the partner Many couples have blueprints for how they think life should be, but with their quiet discontent growing each time things don’t go as expected. But if you don’t tell your partner about your expectations and discuss the reasonableness of those expectations, they can’t be blamed, because just by talking, you may find a solution that works for both of you. ❖ Controlling and manipulating behavior The selfish person must realize that he does not have to do everything he wants whenever he wants and in the way he wants and he must realize that the world does not revolve only around him, but there are people around him who have rights like him, but he does not notice that because selfishness makes him unable to control his behavior.
Selfishness destroys the marital relationship
Selfishness can destroy the marital relationship
It also has effects outside the marital relationship: • People may feel alienated from you. • It creates resentment within you. • There will be difficulty and weakness in communicating with others. • It destroys marital happiness at home. • It also eliminates trust and loyalty. If you are trying to get rid of the feeling of selfishness to save your marital relationship, but you feel that you need help, you can consult Dr. Mona Ali Reda, who will help you achieve this professionally. Connect with us
