There are several factors that affect the choice of the right partner, and ensure the success of the marital relationship, including the age gap in marriage
the fact that there are some people who believe that marriage with a big age difference doesn’t hinder marriage, and the most important is intellectual compatibility and the presence of certain moral and social standards, but others believe that the age difference is necessary and one of the basics of marriage, it depends on each person and his preferences and habits.
What is the Appropriate age difference between spouses?
Marriage is one of the most important steps that individuals take in their lives, but there are many factors that must be taken into account before taking this important step, the most important of which is the age difference between the two partners, which occupies an important place in the success of the marital relationship.
The ideal age difference for marriage may vary from person to person based on one’s culture, traditions or even religious beliefs However, there are some studies recommending that the age difference shouldn’t exceed a maximum of 10 years between partners but the average appropriate age difference between men and women must range from one to 5 years, as this difference causes communication and harmony between men and women, and reduces the likelihood of separation or the existence of an intellectual or social dimension.
Disadvantages of the big age gap between men and women:
Although there are successful marriage experiences with age gap that may exceed ten years, these cases are considered exceptional, and need a great effort from both parties to maintain the continuity of the relationship.
Among these problems that result from the big age difference are:
- Lack of understanding or communication: After several years, differences in views appear between the two partners, whether in different interests or social activities.
- the older partner trying to change the younger partner’s thinking on the grounds that he is more experienced, this can cause many problems later leading to poor marital life.
- A sense of jealousy and doubt by one or both spouses, especially if there is a difference in appearance and attractiveness between them.
- Social and family pressures, as couples may face criticism or ridicule by their surroundings because of their age difference, affecting their self-confidence.
- Disagreement in planning for the future: the younger party wants to have children and share happy moments, while the older party wants to create wealth or retire.
Advantages of small age difference between partners:
1. Good communication: Age convergence facilitates communication and convergence of views on different matters.
2. Emotional stability between the two partners which promotes trust and mutual respect.
3. Shared responsibility: The partners share responsibility towards the family, and there is no significant difference in their abilities or ambitions.
4. Solidarity in the face of problems, Partners can support and advise each other and share solutions to problems that may confront them, whether social or material.
How to overcome the problems caused by the big age difference?
1. Effective communication: Open and frank communication is key to solving problems in the relationship between partners so Couples should make an effort to listen to each other, and try to understand each other’s views.
2. Ready to reach a common point in issues that may arise due to age difference, this may include searching for activities or hobbies they enjoy together or making lifestyle adjustments to meet each other’s needs.
3. Mutual respect: Partners must respect each other’s views and opinions that can be different because of age gap.
4. Focusing on the positive aspects of their relationship rather than on the negative aspects of the age difference, they can exploit those differences to their advantage, and use them to learn from each other and grow together.
On this topic, some people wonder about: what is The impact of the age gap between partners on the sexual relationship?
The fact is that there are men who have the ability to practice sex for long periods of life And there are men with age have natural decrease in libido depending on the physical and psychological condition, as after the age of forty-five there is a decrease in the male hormone that may affect desire and erection In addition to there are many women with age and childbirth, there are many changes with sex, But as long as there is understanding and love between the spouses, there is great enjoyment of marital life and sexually regardless of the age difference.
If you and your wife suffer from a significant age gap, don’t hesitate to communicate with Dr. Mona Reda, A consultant in mental health and marital relations to live more stable married life.